So today, I’m going to quickly breakdown the types of love that are out there.
Self-love, romantic, friendship, parent-child, and much more.
Sometimes, we might confuse love with some other emotion. When it comes down to it, we know deep down what’s love and what it isn’t. It’s some kind of human instinct that people have. Basically, we all know what this is so you don’t need me to tell you.
Self-love is the one that I talked about just the other day. It’s an important thing but also a rare thing. We don’t love ourselves as much as we should. I’m not going to get into the whole thing because it’ll start to just sound straight up preachy. So I’m just going to say that this is something we need and hopefully continue to get better about as we go through life.
Friendship is a really strong form of love. It’s something that you count on. We always love and depend upon our friends whenever we need them the most. It’s just nice to know that someone has our backs and that’s why friendship is so incredible.
The parent-child love is another form of love that is a bond that isn’t easily broken. I know that there are exceptions that I don’t want to get into, but I’ve always heard that there’s just something about having your own child. You become so attached to the little baby that you helped make. And most people have that natural instinct to protect them, love, and care for them. I’m thankful to have those kind of parents that provide unconditional love and support for me.
There’s other type of loves: the romantic one is really obvious. It’s the one that’s probably subject to change the most. Obviously, that differs from person to person but that’s what I’ve found from personal experience. Romantic love is a whirlwind and it can be nice to feel wanted by that person for however long it happens to last.
Whatever love it just so happens to be, my advice is to just hang on to it and be grateful for it. Don’t take any second for granted.
One of the most important forms of love that I haven’t mentioned yet is loving yourself. This is where everything really starts. It’s also by far the most difficult form of love. Both guys and girls struggle with self esteem from a fairly young age. Some may believe that guys don’t have the same kind of self esteem issues as girls which can be true to an extent considering the fact that such pressure is placed on girls from the time they reach kindergarten for the majority of their life. Guys don’t have the same exact degree of what they should look like. I do think that guys struggle with it because they don’t like who they are if they’ve ever been rejected or simply because of their own stereotypes.
Regardless of what sex you are, we can all agree that loving yourself is hard for us all. The trick I use to think about loving myself is thinking about yourself as a little girl or boy. This is a trick that Rae’s therapist in the British teen drama My Mad Fat Diary used. Basically, she had major weight problems for most of her life and she ended up binging and cutting which led to her staying in a mental hospital for a summer. She continues to meet with this therapist and her struggles are continuous but he tries to urge her to think of her childhood self. He tells her to close her eyes and picture that little girl and tell her that she’s fat. She does that, and then she ends up telling her that she’s beautiful and perfect and she shouldn’t let what others might think about her get to her. I think this is an effective way of thinking because who wants to be mean to a little kid? You think of your younger self, all hopeful and positive and you don’t want that person to change.
There’s a number of different ways we can change our ways of thinking. Self-image is a really major thing. It sets the focus for everything and causes you to think either good or bad things about yourself. It also helps to see yourself through the eyes of somebody else. Maybe somebody like a parent or grandparent that’s always told you how beautiful and what a good person you are. If they see the good that you can’t, just pretend that you’re them seeing you the way that they do. This is really tricky and I get that, but I think it might sort of work depending on who you are.
This is a tentative guide to having crushes. Having a crush is such a devastating and overwhelming feeling. What are you supposed to do when you have a crush on someone that you’re not likely to end up with? What I mean is, the person we have our first crush on is typically unattainable. Maybe I’m just speaking from my own experiences here but that’s what I’ve found to be true. These are some tips on how to deal with having a crush on whoever it might be. Take what you will from this “guide.”
1. Don’t be ashamed of it.
Let’s just say you have a crush on your older brother’s best friend. (Again, this is just what I’ve felt.) Don’t be embarrassed because it’s okay to have a crush on someone, even if you really can’t be with them. But don’t be like me and announce it everywhere you go. Take from it what you will and maybe even doodle in your notebook or something. You don’t have to tell everyone you know.
2. Don’t borderline stalk the kid.
Stalking isn’t a good method of getting this kid’s attention. You’ll just end up scaring him off and rightfully so. He’ll likely be flattered that you like him but don’t expect him to be your Knight in Shining Armor.
3. Crushes are supposed to suck.
Crushes are your first experience with really liking someone. It’s unlikely that it’ll develop into something more. If it does, then you are much luckier than I am. Don’t be devastated if it doesn’t work out for you. There will be other guys that you will feel the same way and even deeper feeling that they will return and that’ll be some of the best experiences of your life. It can only go up from having this crush.
4. Move on
Some crushes last a REALLY long time. Sometimes it really hurts not to be able to tell the other person how you feel. But sometimes we just can’t tell them for whatever reason. I think the best way to get over that is to move on and notice someone else that is willing to be with you and give you a really nice relationship. A lot of the time, crushes are going to hurt. I know that I’ve said that over and over again but I can’t say it enough. I just think that’s really important to keep in mind.
I thought I’d do something new. I haven’t written any fiction on my blog because it’s more pop culture related than creative writing. I thought I’d at least try it out in order to mix it up a little bit. I’ve been writing pretty much the same thing because I’m not sure what else to say in relation to my theme. Writing a fictional story about change seems like a good idea and I might try to do at least one a month, maybe more in the coming months! Hope you enjoy the story.
I’ve lived in the same bright blue picket fence house in the small state of Connecticut all my life. My neighbor Maddie has been my best friend since I was old enough to talk. Our moms have been best friends since my mom moved in two years after Maddie’s mom. Her mom came over to welcome my parents to the neighborhood and they became instant friends. Maddie and I went to the same school. We’ve been in the same classes all of our lives. That all changed when my parents took me aside one day when Maddie and I were working on homework in my room and told me we had to move to California.
My dad is a filmmaker. He’s been making low budget documentaries since I was a little girl. After a visit with a fellow filmmaker, my dad felt like his best chance to make quality movies was heading for California. My mom makes her own jewelry and collects vintage clothes along with some other vintage items she loves. She also visited California with my dad when the two had their sets sights on a house. My mom had never been to Los Angeles before so she hunted out some vintage stores to look at. Much to her surprise, the city and some smaller surrounding cities were vintage goldmines. They visited the local school and reported back to me that I would just love it. How can I love something that I’ve never seen before? I’m used to my high school and I have no interest in going anywhere else. I tried to talk my parents into letting me finish my last two years of high school here but they said a change of scenery would be good for me.
I’m sixteen years old. I’m old enough to know what’s good for me and what’s not. Maddie’s family offered to take me in but my parents said that part of me growing up is adjusting. I’m the one who has to say goodbye to the town I was born and raised in.
My parents gave me the news in May which left me three months before I had to move. Saying goodbye is never easy. I know now that it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I didn’t have a choice in the matter and I think that’s the hardest pill to swallow. Maddie’s whole family came over the morning we officially left to say our final goodbyes. Maddie and I were both only children so it was like she was my only sister. She was having a hard time letting me go, crying incessantly and refusing to let go of me as I tried to load my stuff into the U-Haul.
“Lissie, please don’t go,” she kept crying and repeating over and over.
My real name is Annalisa but Maddie has called me that since we were babies. I was lucky to live next door to Maddie for sixteen years. Even though I no longer have it, I just have to keep in that in mind.
“We’ll always be best friends Maddie. You don’t have to worry about that,” I told her as we both hugged each other with tears streaming down our faces. We knew that things would be different with me halfway across the world but someday, if our friendship really means something, we’ll still be close friends. That was the day I learned how you say goodbye.